A Perplexity

I've been caught up in my activities these all days. Even when I'm writing this, those things I have to do are running in my mind.
It's funny to realize that something I want the most has stressed me up instead of making me happy.
Is this what people call 'out of comfort zone'?
Is this what they instruct to 'push ourselves to the limit?'
I hope so.
So that I will be relieved at least for a little while.

The door is open.
But when I get out of my room, I find a great wall right in front of my eyes.
It's like I almost see it. But I have to break the wall down to just hold what so called ambition.
I've been twisted, so consumed by all this hurt that brings me to feel numb afterward.
I knew, I should do everything without asking for praise. But I just found that it's hitting me in the chest when all my effort is not respected.

Life has been full of choices. But I never felt so lost.
I'm walking with no directions.
And every time I try to give them up, there's no reason to go back.
So is life really full of choices?
Or is it just the fate of life I live in?

Million questions have been friends for me to walk through this journey.
And sometimes I really don't need answers because, basically, those questions are ways to make my mind open.
That it's not what I do and choose is good or not, but rather how to make everything in this life strengthen me or weaken me up instead.